Start a conversation without pressure
Choose a calm moment and name what you have noticed: “You’ve seemed really weighed down lately. How are you doing?” Give them time to answer. Listen before offering solutions.
Take their words seriously
Avoid minimizing what they feel, comparing their pain to someone else’s, or turning the conversation into a lecture. “Thank you for telling me” and “I want to help” can be a good beginning.
Help them connect with support
Offer to sit with them while they reach out to a Hope Coach, school counselor, or healthcare professional. Ask what would make that first step easier.
If you are a friend
You can care deeply without becoming someone’s only support. If your friend is unsafe, involve a trusted adult. Don’t promise to keep danger a secret.
If they mention suicide or self-harm
Ask directly and calmly whether they are thinking about suicide. Listen, help them connect to crisis support, and stay with them if you can do so safely. If there is immediate danger or a medical emergency, contact local emergency services.
Keep showing up
After the first conversation, check in again. Offer practical company and help with the next appointment or conversation. Let support be an ongoing relationship, not a one-time promise.
Read the NIMH guide to helping someone with suicidal thoughts. For additional guidance, explore YoungMinds’ parent resources (UK-based; services and local pathways differ).